Usagi's Purpose
by Andora
Summary: Usagi watches as all her friends are living out their dreams. What is hers?


Bonjourno everyone! This is my first fanfic ever submitted, so please go easy  
on me for a little bit! Please please PLEASE email me with any criticism,   
questions, etc. at andora79@hotmail.com though.   
  
Just a little brief background I guess, the girls are about a year out of   
highschool. This isn't a fic with any fighting in it, just sort of character   
building from my mind. If there is a problem with anything I've said here, or  
the Japanese names I've used, please let me know. I know so little about the  
culture, but many seem to prefer the use of Japanese names, I know I do, so   
I used them. It is a bit of an Usako/Mamo-chan romance I guess. For those of  
You who hate them, don't read it, but I hope people will regardless. It's less  
on the mushy side though.   
  
Rating is probably G, I can't see any reason not to so far...   
  
Disclamer: I don't own anything related to Sailor moon aside from a few little  
memorbilia things. I don't really wish I did either, because I know I couldn't  
have come up with such terrific characters and stories! At any rate, I'm   
not trying to make any money from this. I have no money, I'm a starving   
University student, so that means whatever you try to take, OSAP will beat you  
to it! :)  
  
And now, Usagi's purpose!  
  
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So what did everyone think? Good? Bad? Horrible? Wonderful? Pulitzer prize  
winning? Trash worthy? TELL ME! :) I'm Andora on ASMR board!  
  
  
  
Usagi gazed out on the balcony, first at the glorious night sky, the  
stars, and of course her beloved moon, and then turned her gaze   
down to the city lights. A bustling sound of activity arose from the  
streets of Tokyo, the sound of scittering feet, squealing tires,   
voices. The sound of everyone going about their daily business, no,  
their purpose. Oh, how she wanted to be like them. Really, that   
sounds silly, she fundamentally is, physically, emotionally even,   
but not when it came to life.   
  
Why? Because her purpose was in a sense higher then theirs.   
  
Well no, that sounds crass really, it wasn't higher, just a   
tad more demanding on certain aspects of life, mainly life. Only   
soilders in battle would know how it was, well, soldiers and her fellow  
warriors. She really didn't mind it, of course there was the taxing   
aspect of fighting, little sleep, etc. etc., but that really wasn't a   
problem in the bigger picture. No no, she simply wanted something to do.   
  
Peace time for die hard soldiers is hell, and she was inclined   
to see their point. Oh, she loved the fact no one was trying to take   
things from her, her friends, family, crystal, life, she truly did,   
but something was missing. When there was an enemy, she was kept busy.   
Usagy may be lazy, but that doesn't mean she enjoys stagnation.   
  
There was school, emphasis on the was. Highschool was over, she  
graduated well enough, and decided to refrain for a year before jumping   
into college, mainly because she didn't know what she exactly wanted to   
do there. So now her primary focuses were out and done with for the time   
being, leaving her feeling a bit useless.   
  
Wait, there was one more purpose she had, but that was hard to   
call a purpose because it wasn't really tangible. As if on cue, Mamoru   
joined her out on the balcony, offering a glass of rosetta left over   
from dinner. Smiling, Usagi took it and leaned into her lover, fiancee,  
and protector. They stood there in companionable silence, not really   
needing to talk after his long day at work, and her long day of, well,  
sleeping and flitting around his apartment.   
  
Sighing, Usagi's thoughts returned to the present dillemma:   
what was her purpose? Her "thing" to do during the day that could make  
her tired enough to sleep at night. Darrien worked, sort of an intern  
at the hospital, finishing that last thread of schooling before his   
full fledged doctor status kicked in. Minako had her acting lessons,  
and she was pretty darn good too, picking up more and more roles in  
local theatres on her way to stardom. Makoto was still waiting on the  
grant from the bank for a loan to open her restaurant, and spending   
that time at the Dojo perfecting various fighting techniques. Rei kept  
herself busy most of the time running the shrine, as her Grandfather   
was just starting to get old enough to take a few days off a week.   
Still, she did have time to pursue her singing a little more, taking   
some lessons here and there, signing up for amatuer nights at clubs,  
attaining some regocnition. Ami of course was engrossed in school,   
on her way to catch up with Mamoru in the medical field, choosing to   
remain in Tokyo for another few years. Mirichu's concerts were taking   
her all over the place, Haruka following closely, racing around the   
globe and winning more often than not. Hotaru was young, but still had  
her passion for healing, and when not pursuing things all people her   
age should, was flitting around here and there following Setsuna.   
Setsuna of course was all over the place. Place and time that is, in   
the future attending to courtly life, in the present keeping up with   
fashion and design, doing a decent job as well. She of course could   
probably make a huge splash if it weren't for her true life.   
  
They all had something, and something that was making it big   
sooner than later. "So what do I have?" Usagi whispered to the city,   
asking it for an answer, suggestions.   
  
She felt her tall prince stirr at her words, troubled by them.  
"Usako? What do you mean?" He asked worriedly.  
  
"Oh Mamo-chan!" She smiled up at him. "I don't mean that   
literally, I know what I've got!" Winking at Mamoru.  
  
"Then why the question?" he asked, still concerned.  
  
Sighing once again, she launched into it. "Mamo-chan, what do   
I have to do during the day while you are all out living life? Sleep?   
Eat? Sure, I guess, but I want more." Seeing his look turn to fear she   
continued with a reasurring smile. "No no lover, I don't mean you or   
anyone. I just mean that I want something to do during the day.   
Something to keep me busy. Everyone comments that you are what I have   
to keep busy, but you have your own life as well somewhat, I can't   
intrude on you in the hospital now can I?"  
  
"Usa, you know there is plenty you do."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, there's, uhhh… And of course, hmmm…" Looking rather   
sheepish, he lost himself in thought, trying really hard to keep that  
smile on her face. "Well, you help Motoki out at the Crown while   
Unazuki's gone to school, and don't forget the volunteering at the   
preschool once a week! And Makoto's teaching you how to cook, and   
you've really been improving there! And-"  
  
"Mamo-chan, there isn't much. All of you have some identity   
past the senshi, and I really don't in a way. Oh sure, I'm the klutz  
and all, but I need something to do, more then the odd helping here,  
showing up there. Something to take me big! I don't need to be a star  
, I just need to get up for something during the day. Ok, wait, I   
would prefer if I received some appreciation for it though."  
  
A slight smile toyed on his lips. "You mean being hailed a   
hero for protecting the earth isn't enough?"  
  
"Well it is, believe me, but what am I protecting now?"   
Quickly realizing what she said, Usagi turned to the sky, adamantly   
yelling out. "I didn't meant that!!!! No one has to come and make me  
busy anytime soon!!!"  
  
"Usako, dear, the passerby's may hear you." Laughingly, he   
pulled her to him and guided her inside. "Come Ondango, it's time to   
sleep."  
  
"Hai." She sighed rather sadly. She wasn't tired really, but  
she'd stay with Mamoru until he slept, it was always so nice to watch  
him curl up and fall into slumber like a baby. Soon though, after his  
soft snores were audible, she crept out of the room and into the   
living room. Digging into the shelf of video's, Usagi pulled one from   
the back that she kept hidden, and put it into the VCR. Soon, images   
of people floatingacross the ice were visible, making her forget   
everything.   
  
  
The next day Usagi awoke to an empty apartment, Mamorou being  
gone to work on a Saturday. Being an intern often meant he worked   
holidays and weekends at the hospital, but Usagi didn't mind too often   
though, as Mamoru had graduated towards the top of his class, and was  
given somewhat normal hours, meaning he didn't have to work late too  
often. Besides, today the girls were meeting at the Crown to chat and  
catch up. They had a weekly date, every Saturday or Sunday afternoon  
where they all managed to get together and enjoy the peace.   
Unfortunetly though, old habits die hard, and sleeping until the noon   
hour would mean she would be late if she wasn't quick getting ready.   
  
Hopping out of bed, Usagi set to her 'morning' routines, all   
the while humming "Love Story" to herself, the last piece she had   
watched the night before of her ice obsession. 'I wish I could be so   
graceful!' She thought to herself. Humph, I used to be apparently, why  
can't I be that way still? Soon enough, she was scampering out to   
catch a bus to meet her friends.  
  
"And then the director just about flipped his lid when I   
insisted that my line was better then the script! I mean wow, what  
could his problem have been? It was only a tiny variation!" Minako   
was bubbling over.  
  
"Minako-chan, I hardly think substituting 'Listen up Macbeth,  
we've got to off these men if you want us to get anywhere' for   
origional Shakespeare is a tiny variation!" Rei shot out.  
  
"Yeah well, it sounds better in the dialouge, besides I- Usagi  
!! Over here!" The blonde interrupted herself when the ondango'ed one   
finally entered the café.  
  
"Hey guys, sorry I was late, I over slept! Up late last nite,   
I-"   
  
"Now Usagi-chan, we hardly need to know what you've been doing  
in the late hours of the night with that Mamo-chan of yours!" came the  
annoyed bark of Rei.  
  
"Excuse me Miss virgin ears, that's not what I was about to   
say! Good Lord, you'd think that's all I do by how you say it!" Usagi  
positively steamed.  
  
Makoto saw a storm and decided to end it as quickly as possible.  
"Enough you two, we hardly see eachother, and you have to begin our   
date with a silly argument? Geez! Usagi, have a seat! Minako was   
telling us about her new play."  
  
"Yeah! Oh Usagi, you won't believe it, I've managed to land   
myself a role in Macbeth! Can you believe it??" Minako bubbled once more.  
  
"Really? Wow!" Usagi replied, trying to mask her ignorance of   
why this role was so much more important than the others. "I mean   
Macbeth! You must be so proud to have such a-a-um, demanding role as   
that! I mean playing Macbeth! Wow! I'm so proud Minako-chan!" beamed   
the blonde, both for her friend and her own acting skills. Still, sweat  
drops abound on the other four women sitting at the table.   
  
"Uh, Usagi-chan? Macbeth is a man in the play." Ami meekly   
tried to point out.  
  
"Huh? Minako, they have you playing a guy? Is this to show   
your variations or something?" Bigger sweatdrops.  
  
Makoto saw Rei's big mouth about to spit fire again, and   
came to the rescue. "No no Usagi, Minako is playing Lady Macbeth, the   
lead female part. But you are right, it must be demanding Minako!"  
  
"Yeah, demanding." Snorted Rei. "To the point where she's   
decided to re-write literature!"  
  
"Hardly Rei, when speaking a line, you aren't exactly re-  
writing it!" came Ami's exhasperated reply.   
  
"ANYWAYS, the whole point of the story was that the director   
said we could work on a few of the lines, you know, to make them better.  
After all, such a director can't exactly say no to such a star!" Again   
sweatdrops abound, and it's only been about five minutes into the   
conversation.  
  
"Uh-huh, yeah, so Usagi! Whats new?" the tall brunette turned   
the attention on a less mind numbing subject.   
  
"Wait! Before we get to the doldrums of a house wife life,   
I have some news!" Rei broke in excitedly. "My singing teacher has   
decided that I'm ready for something big, so with some strings Grandpa's  
pulled, I'm going to be part of the City anniversary banquet! There's   
a concert at the end of the night, and I get to be one of it's showcases!"  
  
"Rei-chan! That's incredible! You must be so nervous!" Usagi  
cried, happy for another one of her friends.   
  
"Nah, not nervous really! Well, not about the actual singing   
there, it's more the preparation. The concert is only in a few weeks,  
and I have to prepare so many songs for it! I'm not sure I'll have   
the time! Thank God Yurrichu agreed to cover for me at the shrine   
for the next while! I couldn't run that place AND prepare for such   
an adoring public at the same time!" she answered proudly.  
  
"Yeah, er, that truly is wonderful Rei! Do we get to see the   
concert?" Ami asked.  
  
"Of course! Mirchiu is playing as well, so she's helped me make  
sure I can get eight people in!"  
  
"So do you get to choose your own songs and costumes? Or does the   
planning committee do that?" Minako inquired.  
  
"Well I have to follow the general theme of the banquet, but   
basically it's my call." Rei tossed her raven hair over her shoulder.  
  
"Well that's terrific Rei! I can't wait to see it!" Makoto   
gushed.  
  
"Thanks!" Rei flashed aa brilliant smile. "So Ami, how's   
school?"  
  
"Not too bad, but it keeps me busier then I thought it would! I   
can barely keep ahead the dozens of chapters I'm used to, instead only one  
or two, and most of the students are that way. Not to blow my own horn,   
but the last set of marks had me on the top, so I'm not going to stress   
over being behind. It's still so interesting though! We're to the point   
where we visit the hospitals, and do rounds with doctors. No hands on quite   
yet, but at least it's more realistic then diagrams, or animal   
dissections!"  
  
"Yuck! You guys still have to do that? I thought college was beyond  
such high school things!" Usagi crumpled her nose.  
  
"Well it's the only way we can really learn anatomy in a close to   
life-like situation, the computer programs only help so much."  
  
"Yeah, it's still gross though."  
  
"Usagi-chan, I thought you'd be used to the idea, what with Mamoru  
a doctor and all." Minako turned to look at the ondangoed blonde beside   
her.  
  
"He's almost a doctor, not quite there yet. Just another few months  
of being an intern, then the big tests and such, handing in his thesis,   
then he's a doctor. Besides, we don't exactly talk about the gruesome   
details of what he does." Usagi answered.  
  
"Oh, well that's just as good, I don't think it'd help you keep   
down food if you knew half of it! Sometimes I even wonder at being a   
surgeon! Of course Mamoru is going into family practice, but still."  
  
"As if anything could hurt Usagi's appetite!" Rei sauced.  
  
"REI! What is your problem?" the genuinely hurt squeal like   
sound came. As said, some old habits die hard, though this one had   
diminished quite a bit admittedly.  
  
"Nothing, I'm sorry Usagi, just seemed the thing to say." Rei's  
purple eyes gleamed. "No harm right?"  
  
"Whatever." Grumbled the petite blonde. "So Mako-chan, hows life  
at the dojo? Heard from the bank yet?"  
  
"Actually, I sort of have. I have a pre-acceptance to the grant,   
I just have to submit in writing my plans, like what the building is, what  
I'd need, and such, but it's not for sure yet."  
  
"Well I'm sure you'll get it! If the bank wavers, bring the guys   
there some of your cookies, that'll show them!" The always exuberant   
actress-in-training encouraged her friend.  
  
"Thanks! So Usagi, as I said before, whats new with you?"  
  
All eyes seemed to turn on her expectantly, making Usagi rather   
nervous. 'Oh God, what do I say to all of that?'she thought. "Well,"   
clearing her throat, "working around here a few days a week is fun, I   
mean I get to meet some really different people. Motoki swears he wouldn't  
be able to do without my help. Oh! And the kids at school are adorable,   
though my, uh, hours are cut back for now because of holidays coming up.  
Um… Mamo-chan and I bought a new bedroom set, it's really nice! Sort of   
silver and blue. It was so funny, he thought I'd swear on pink, and was   
set for a big argument because he was NOT going to live in a pink room.  
Well there was none, this set just jumped out of no where while I was   
shopping, and Mamo-chan loved it! The rest of the apartment is in good   
shape too…" she seemed to trail off, looking up at her friends.  
  
Eight eyes seemed to blink in sync at her.   
  
"Oh, Usagi, that's… great!"  
  
"Good to see you're keeping busy!"  
  
"And silver is such a nice colour after all!"  
  
"And you haven't blown up Mamouru's apartment either!   
Congratulations!"  
  
The last comment was from Rei, and try as she might, usagi couldn't  
conjure up an argument. She knew when she was flailing, and this was it.   
"I know it's not as exciting as your lives." She sighed, "Really, it isn't.  
I mean Shakespeare, concerts, Med-school, and a restaurant! You guys make   
me so proud!" tears began to well up in her eyes and the eight eyes suddenly  
lowered.  
  
"Usagi-chan, your life is interesting too." Minako began. "I mean,  
afterall, wasn't your dream to be a good wife? Well it sounds like you're   
really getting there! I haven't heard of any poisionings recently. Besides,  
you have your prince securely in your life, we can't exactly say that!"  
The other girls added their slightly grumbling 'mee too's.'  
  
"Yeah Usagi, don't feel that just because we're out there and   
going after our dreams means your life is boring! I mean, this concert   
is only one night, that'll hopefully lead to more and- OUCH!" a sharp   
backhand upside her head from Makoto stopped her. Eyeing the brunette   
warily she continued. "What I mean is, you have your dream. Peace, your   
prince, etc., now we're finally going after ours!"  
  
"My dream… right." Usagi murmured in thought. 'Well that's true  
I guess.'  
  
"Besides Usagi-chan, what more could you want after the wedding?  
We don't know when the sleep will occur, so you better enjoy your   
realized dream while you can." Makoto injected.   
  
"Yeah…" 'Is that what they think my dreams extend to? A house   
wife? Do they really think that's all there is to it?' The discussions   
at the table turned back to Minako's amusing stories of her director,   
trying to ease the hole in conversation. Usagi remained   
uncharacteristically quiet through the rest of their date at the Crown,  
but no one seemed to notice as they went on and on with anecdotes of   
their exciting day to day lives.  
  
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